Happy 450th Birthday, Bard!
April 23, 1564
THIS IS WAY TOO PERFECT FOR IT TO BE A COINCIDENCE WHAT THE FUCK
Two scientists walk into a bar
The first says “I’ll have some H2O.”
The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.”
Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.
the other version
How is Shakespeare married to Anne Hathaway if she’s still alive?
i still think 2007 was 3 years ago
it’s the 8th month
I cracked the code
October is the 10th month though
It was originally the 8th month but then Julius fucking Caesar decided to add in July and August after himself and his nephew Augustus
we should totally just stab caesar
Sir, do you know why we pulled you over?
the dude who kicked in the windshield, also backflipped off the hood of the car. you know he’s waited his entire career to bust out those moves.
I AM THE NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
Grayson, we know you work as a police officer for a day job, but this is not subtle. Not at all.
i’m not sure if my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense
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